The effort to smile and say “How ya doing my friend”, is no greater mental effort than to frown and say “Shove it up your fly nest, idiot!” Yet some of us have a difficult time deciding on which approach or better yet, level to take.
When I was a kid and forced to go on Sunday rides with the folks I can remember Dad driving with his left arm resting in the car window and ever so often he would just raise his hand and wave to a passing motorist who in turn would wave back. To him, that’s what you did in public and I thought it was normal and proper. Now, as a middle aged adult, I don’t see that anymore unless they’re gay or giving some total stranger the finger because they don’t like their bumper sticker or they look gay.
The fine art of being hospitable and non-asinine is too often vague and kept hidden behind a façade of distrust or discuss. Sadly…..granny’s day of sitting on the front porch in her swing and waving at passing strollers has been replaced by Kevlar shawls and drive-by barriers. Rest in peace Granny…..we have screwed it up.
The last time I saw true and sincere courtesy and friendship was when I returned back home from the Gulf war. Everybody was smiling and waving and hugging each other. It was a blessed thing to see. I even had a total stranger walk up to me in “the wagon wheel” bar in Harker Heights Texas and shake my hand and hug me. Very friendly and warm……until he starting rubbing my butt.....
Friday, August 6, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Finding the right one is like slow dancing.
All you need is a soft, languorous ballad. You wrap your arms around your love and you glide, sway and spin across the floor. Two bodies meld into one. You bury your face in her hair and all the laws of physics fall to pieces. There is no clock, no floor, no walls. There are only heartbeats, warmth, motion and scent. The music plays on and on...and you glide and sway and spin.
Simple pleasures truly are the best. Slow dancing is one of the best of the best simple pleasures. We need these moments that feel like infinity. We need to hear our hearts beat. To dance with love is a sublime pleasure. It has been said that dancing is "the vertical expression of a horizontal desire." It is that, but slow dancing is far, far more. To sway and glide and melt and dream and flow with love is to experience pure rapture. It is a good and necessary thing to experience rapture, to bathe in love. We were made to dance.
And should it come to pass that a ballad begins to play and you step out on the floor...if your steps feel strained and stilted, if you subtly draw away, if you find yourself waiting for the song to end...well...you're dancing with the wrong partner.
Simple pleasures truly are the best. Slow dancing is one of the best of the best simple pleasures. We need these moments that feel like infinity. We need to hear our hearts beat. To dance with love is a sublime pleasure. It has been said that dancing is "the vertical expression of a horizontal desire." It is that, but slow dancing is far, far more. To sway and glide and melt and dream and flow with love is to experience pure rapture. It is a good and necessary thing to experience rapture, to bathe in love. We were made to dance.
And should it come to pass that a ballad begins to play and you step out on the floor...if your steps feel strained and stilted, if you subtly draw away, if you find yourself waiting for the song to end...well...you're dancing with the wrong partner.
I am having mind spasms.
The wheels in my head keep spinning, but I’m not getting anywhere. There are thoughts, just beyond the edge of language that feel important...immense, but I just can't bring them into sufficient focus to understand their meaning. My skull is filled with germs of thought (the soul's neutrinos, if you will) that vibrate, merge, dance and disappear within a maelstrom of emotions. I’ve touched on them briefly, a vision of a heart being entrusted to another's hands. And a feeling…a dream…a consequential notion: "being cherished."
I'm already mucking this up. I suppose this entry will serve as an object lesson that one can't write cogently about topics just outside one's mental and emotional grasp. Still, I keep searching for insight and striving for clarity. I can be doggedly persistent when need be. I know that, this time, I must come to some understanding, for I somehow know that these twinned notions; giving up one's heart and feeling cherished have been the wellsprings of many a person's greatest joy and deepest pain. I have to crawl out of my emotional foxhole and search in earnest, for I desperately want to know what these elusive thoughts mean.
I'm already mucking this up. I suppose this entry will serve as an object lesson that one can't write cogently about topics just outside one's mental and emotional grasp. Still, I keep searching for insight and striving for clarity. I can be doggedly persistent when need be. I know that, this time, I must come to some understanding, for I somehow know that these twinned notions; giving up one's heart and feeling cherished have been the wellsprings of many a person's greatest joy and deepest pain. I have to crawl out of my emotional foxhole and search in earnest, for I desperately want to know what these elusive thoughts mean.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Love's Moments
There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!
When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.
Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.I have found that person, her name is Sammie.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.
Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.I have found that person, her name is Sammie.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.
The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
Friday, January 15, 2010
Waiting on My Own Metamorphosis
Changes - I look always for a change. I look for changes in others, in their attitudes to life, to me; any difference big or small, I try to pick up. I search for changes within myself, find them everyday, though of a more repetitive variety. I will switch back to a point of view or “way of life” I’ve had previously, only to soon read or hear something, come to a conclusion or realization that will put me back on the other side. Just how it works (life, I mean.)
And then we come to the real human changes - after self-realization where one can do nothing but see all the world, and their past, and their future, in an entirely new, shining light. Their present is a fleeting limbo, a time to set in place the preparations for undertaking a new path. Such self-realization may come in the form of an epiphany, or a certain sudden “enlightenment”, either of which may be caused by a brush with death, a brush with LIFE itself, which might further bring about strong religious or simply a spiritual feeling and insight, hence the strongest form of epiphany or enlightenment.
It is through these changes in how we see life (changing once we have found our true purpose and dreams in life) that we make changes to how we perceive things, how we treat others and ourselves, and how we ultimately live. We want to be better … and here we transform, find ourselves in metamorphosis. What we once were remains, I think, because without our past acquaintances and experiences and feelings, every single one of which contributes to this lead-up, we would become something very different. As we turn slowly into another form of ourselves, perhaps realising our true selves, emerging from the chrysalis and find our purpose, we blossom, perhaps into that which we once hated, envied, or never even knew existed. Life, with all it’s constant renewal, now has a new meaning for us, just as it has a new meaning itself.
As I try to find my particular purpose in life, or wait for Life to show me the way, I wonder about all this. I do realize that I can’t force an epiphany, an enlightenment. The difficulty lies in limbo - waiting for the new era of my life to begin - being with my love, higher education, pursuit of some career, etc. as I wait for this next bit I feel I am missing something, that because those aspects are yet unfulfilled I am in LIMBO, and I need a change pronto.
Yes, I look eternally for change, just so I can claw my way out of this feeling that life is out of my hands, determined by factors which are bigger than myself.
By searching for such life-changing occurrences, on any level, I seem to chase them away; I realize this. Understand that I am becoming desperate.
That saying, that if you want something, go get it, with your own hands. I only wish that could apply in my circumstances, because I’m impatient by nature, always need to be doing something. Still, there is truly nothing more I can do but wait right now, until the right way path becomes clear … if I think about it logically, that’s the best one can do in such situations.
The fact is, I’m feeling introspective, looking to myself for answers and I come up short always. I yearn more than anything for a deeper meaning to my existence. I know the best thing really is to keep pushing through life, working and doing all I can for the few joys I truly need and want … change will come in it’s own way, in it’s own time, when I let it rather than chase it, and who knows - it might not even be for the better of my life! And yet it would be for the better of myself, because it’s what evolves me as a human.
And then we come to the real human changes - after self-realization where one can do nothing but see all the world, and their past, and their future, in an entirely new, shining light. Their present is a fleeting limbo, a time to set in place the preparations for undertaking a new path. Such self-realization may come in the form of an epiphany, or a certain sudden “enlightenment”, either of which may be caused by a brush with death, a brush with LIFE itself, which might further bring about strong religious or simply a spiritual feeling and insight, hence the strongest form of epiphany or enlightenment.
It is through these changes in how we see life (changing once we have found our true purpose and dreams in life) that we make changes to how we perceive things, how we treat others and ourselves, and how we ultimately live. We want to be better … and here we transform, find ourselves in metamorphosis. What we once were remains, I think, because without our past acquaintances and experiences and feelings, every single one of which contributes to this lead-up, we would become something very different. As we turn slowly into another form of ourselves, perhaps realising our true selves, emerging from the chrysalis and find our purpose, we blossom, perhaps into that which we once hated, envied, or never even knew existed. Life, with all it’s constant renewal, now has a new meaning for us, just as it has a new meaning itself.
As I try to find my particular purpose in life, or wait for Life to show me the way, I wonder about all this. I do realize that I can’t force an epiphany, an enlightenment. The difficulty lies in limbo - waiting for the new era of my life to begin - being with my love, higher education, pursuit of some career, etc. as I wait for this next bit I feel I am missing something, that because those aspects are yet unfulfilled I am in LIMBO, and I need a change pronto.
Yes, I look eternally for change, just so I can claw my way out of this feeling that life is out of my hands, determined by factors which are bigger than myself.
By searching for such life-changing occurrences, on any level, I seem to chase them away; I realize this. Understand that I am becoming desperate.
That saying, that if you want something, go get it, with your own hands. I only wish that could apply in my circumstances, because I’m impatient by nature, always need to be doing something. Still, there is truly nothing more I can do but wait right now, until the right way path becomes clear … if I think about it logically, that’s the best one can do in such situations.
The fact is, I’m feeling introspective, looking to myself for answers and I come up short always. I yearn more than anything for a deeper meaning to my existence. I know the best thing really is to keep pushing through life, working and doing all I can for the few joys I truly need and want … change will come in it’s own way, in it’s own time, when I let it rather than chase it, and who knows - it might not even be for the better of my life! And yet it would be for the better of myself, because it’s what evolves me as a human.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Take Responsibility.
I'm firmly under the belief that the majority of our personality is formed during our childhood based on our personal experiences. This can be anything from relationships, activities, toys, cartoons, etc. The point is, I believe that what makes us who we are is absorbed at a very young age. When we're born, our mind is essentially a 'tabula rasa' or blank slate, and that as we mature, this slate starts filling up with experiences which will later dictate your outlook into the world, as well as your views of yourself. However, obviously our minds are not completely blank when born, because we feel basic instincts from the minute we're born to the second we die.
Whether or not you agree that the mind is semi-blank at birth, most people can agree that the mind is a creation of combined forces. Whether these forces be God, your parents, television, nature, whatever, our minds are not the result of one thing, but many.
Instead of this being an awe-inspiring idea, it seems to have encouraged a displacement of responsibility. With post-modernism came with the idea that as humans, who we are is determined in our childhood, so any wrong action we do can be blamed on how we were raised. Now sure, that is partially true. If a child is raped at a young (or even not so young) age, they are much more likely to become a sexual offender themselves. So yes, some traits can be attributed to an outside party, but does that mean that those people don't have to take responsibility for their actions? Not at all.
While your parents may be the reason why you're so afraid of commitment, or why you're too shy, or too outgoing, but you ALWAYS have the option to change that. People are incredibly adaptive creatures, and while change can prove extremely difficult sometimes, it is always possible.
No matter what you're past is, you are the master of your own future. Everything that happens to you from every moment on is your responsibility. Don't spend your life trying to find something to blame all your problems on, and instead try and fix it.
A major part of our existence is taking pride and joy in that existence. What would life be like without the feeling of accomplishment? So instead of worrying about all the shit that's happened that you have no control over, focus on your future where you can do anything you dedicate yourself to.
In life, we're given a box of crayons. You may get the 8 pack, or the 16 pack, or the whole Goddamn 480 color box set, but all that really matters is what you do with the colors you're given. And don't be restricted, color right off the friggin page
Whether or not you agree that the mind is semi-blank at birth, most people can agree that the mind is a creation of combined forces. Whether these forces be God, your parents, television, nature, whatever, our minds are not the result of one thing, but many.
Instead of this being an awe-inspiring idea, it seems to have encouraged a displacement of responsibility. With post-modernism came with the idea that as humans, who we are is determined in our childhood, so any wrong action we do can be blamed on how we were raised. Now sure, that is partially true. If a child is raped at a young (or even not so young) age, they are much more likely to become a sexual offender themselves. So yes, some traits can be attributed to an outside party, but does that mean that those people don't have to take responsibility for their actions? Not at all.
While your parents may be the reason why you're so afraid of commitment, or why you're too shy, or too outgoing, but you ALWAYS have the option to change that. People are incredibly adaptive creatures, and while change can prove extremely difficult sometimes, it is always possible.
No matter what you're past is, you are the master of your own future. Everything that happens to you from every moment on is your responsibility. Don't spend your life trying to find something to blame all your problems on, and instead try and fix it.
A major part of our existence is taking pride and joy in that existence. What would life be like without the feeling of accomplishment? So instead of worrying about all the shit that's happened that you have no control over, focus on your future where you can do anything you dedicate yourself to.
In life, we're given a box of crayons. You may get the 8 pack, or the 16 pack, or the whole Goddamn 480 color box set, but all that really matters is what you do with the colors you're given. And don't be restricted, color right off the friggin page
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Why parents are churning out dumbass kids ...
If parents started on their kids self esteem really young, the kids might have a better chance in life at not being so insecure ....
parents especially in America are not really fit enough in themselves to have kids when you yourself have a low self esteem. This will reflect on the child .....
kids are only as good as their parents are ,and we know that most parents are selfish ....sure you buy the kids things to keep them quiet so you can sit there and indulge in your internet and cell phones ......teaching the kids to love themselves is more important than buying him/her a toy or the latest clothes to look good so your friends can say that you are doing a good job ...
if you have a bad self image your child is going to be the same, he or she is going to copy you its all he or she knows.
As alot of women these days are insecure , deceitful , bitchy ,backstabbing emotional train wrecks, they do not have the mentality to think to change the pattern for their daughters so they end up just like them and grow into bigger bitches and torture Innocent circumcised fools who carry on the trait of life ....and what you are having is generation of low self esteem brats and spoiled kids who only know that materialism buys them ....if the parents are insecure they do not have the mentality to try and change why would they want their child to set a better example than them ? this would make them look like failures ...you know the whole ego thing ....
Just another one of my observations, not aimed specifically at any one individual.
parents especially in America are not really fit enough in themselves to have kids when you yourself have a low self esteem. This will reflect on the child .....
kids are only as good as their parents are ,and we know that most parents are selfish ....sure you buy the kids things to keep them quiet so you can sit there and indulge in your internet and cell phones ......teaching the kids to love themselves is more important than buying him/her a toy or the latest clothes to look good so your friends can say that you are doing a good job ...
if you have a bad self image your child is going to be the same, he or she is going to copy you its all he or she knows.
As alot of women these days are insecure , deceitful , bitchy ,backstabbing emotional train wrecks, they do not have the mentality to think to change the pattern for their daughters so they end up just like them and grow into bigger bitches and torture Innocent circumcised fools who carry on the trait of life ....and what you are having is generation of low self esteem brats and spoiled kids who only know that materialism buys them ....if the parents are insecure they do not have the mentality to try and change why would they want their child to set a better example than them ? this would make them look like failures ...you know the whole ego thing ....
Just another one of my observations, not aimed specifically at any one individual.
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