Thursday, December 24, 2009
Had too much Christmas cheer?
1. You know you have if you... notice your tie sticking out of your fly. 2. Someone uses your tongue for a coaster. 3. You start kissing the portraits on the wall. 4. You see your underwear hanging from the dining room light. 5. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off. 6. You see three cigarettes and light your nose. 7. You take off your shoes and wade in the dog and cats water bowls. 8. You hear a duck quacking, and it 's you,I do this sober,but usually blame it on Sammie. 9. You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet. 10. You refill your glass from the aquarium. 11. You tell everyone you have to go home... and the party's at your place. 12. You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket. 13. You talk to the biggest bore in the room... and realize you 're in front of the hall mirror. 14. You pick up a roll, and butter your watch. 15. You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear. 16. You tell your best joke to the dog. 17. You realize you 're the only one under the coffee table.18.cook breakfast on the woodstove because you do not want to mess up the stove and hear about it later. These are from personal experience. Funny, years later, but still not funny to the ones who love you,or used to love you....
Hello everyone!
Hello to all whom which will read this.
At the suggestion of my beloved better half Sammie, I have moved some of the blogs that I have written on myspace to this destination in worldwide web infinity. This is why the composition dates all co-incide with one another, just in case you are wondering.I wish you all a very merry Christmas and a very,very proserous new year!
Lots of love,
Ed,A.K.A the fat polish kid......
At the suggestion of my beloved better half Sammie, I have moved some of the blogs that I have written on myspace to this destination in worldwide web infinity. This is why the composition dates all co-incide with one another, just in case you are wondering.I wish you all a very merry Christmas and a very,very proserous new year!
Lots of love,
Ed,A.K.A the fat polish kid......
Have you looked in the mirror lately?
When I ask you "Have you looked at yourself in the mirror lately"? I dont mean for you to look and say...."Oh my, I am overwieght, I have a big nose, I wish I had bigger *****, I wish I wasnt so tall. my teeth are crooked, Im too pale, and so on.....you get the picture. What I mean is look past all of the outer qaulities and dig deeper till you find the inner qaulities in yourself. What does it look like now that you are staring face to face at it? Is it filled with radiance and beauty that follows you wherever you go.....spreading from person to person leaving them with a smile from ear to ear. Meaning...are you kind and loving that no matter who you meet(even a scrooge) you leave them with a smile apon your face? Do you make a impact on others lives each day that you breathe? Are you living your life to the fullest with absolute satisfaction to who you are? Or do you make others cry and hurt inside with each word you make? Are you a jealous creature that destroys everything in its path? Or are you just barely gliding through life with out any goals or expectations? Whatever your reflection is...the question I ask you my dear friend..........ARE YOU HAPPY....ARE YOU PROUD OF WHO YOU HAVE BECOME?
A fine line between words and weapons....
I hear a lot of talk no matter where I'm at. I hear folks that are law
biding citizens (and most financially stable) talk about the stuff they
hear on the news, or things they read in the paper. "OMG did you here
about that armed robbery! Or what about that poor clerk that was shot!
Man, they need to drag these criminals out back and shoot em!" Then I
hear all the crap about politics and the B.S. the government is doing
and what not. These same law biding citizens will talk behind the back
of fellow humans in such a way that is totally uncalled for, and
sometimes even say hurtful things to a person's face! They don't stop
and think or maybe not even care about what their doing to this person
emotionally! Then they b&tch about politics and then turn around and
impose their own kind of politics on you! Well, let's talk about
weapons of crime. We got your guns, knives, brass knuckles, ball bats,
blackjacks, tazers. Do I really need to go on? You can picture in your
mind the crimes committed with these weapons. I had a revelation! Not
to compare law biding citizens to criminals, but what about crimes
against humanity?! What about crimes against the heart?! I don't think
people realize or even care how words can hurt someone! That's right; I
think you know where I'm going with this. Are not words and attitudes
weapons? I would say positively yes! Sadly though, each and every one
of us harbors those types of weapons in our soul. It seems to be in our
nature to want to hurt one another! Is there no way to break this
trend? Are humans truly a lost cause? I don't know, that's why I'm
asking! When you, for no good reason poke fun at somebody, you are
using a weapon. When you lay your B.S. politics on somebody, you are
using a weapon. When you’re out of line with your attitude and say
hurtful things to a person, YOU ARE USING A WEAPON!!!!!!!!!!! To the
self righteous, rather than using your words and attitudes as weapons
and hurting others around you, or judging every one around you THINKING
that you're better, why not take some time out each day as I have and sit
in judgment on yourself!
biding citizens (and most financially stable) talk about the stuff they
hear on the news, or things they read in the paper. "OMG did you here
about that armed robbery! Or what about that poor clerk that was shot!
Man, they need to drag these criminals out back and shoot em!" Then I
hear all the crap about politics and the B.S. the government is doing
and what not. These same law biding citizens will talk behind the back
of fellow humans in such a way that is totally uncalled for, and
sometimes even say hurtful things to a person's face! They don't stop
and think or maybe not even care about what their doing to this person
emotionally! Then they b&tch about politics and then turn around and
impose their own kind of politics on you! Well, let's talk about
weapons of crime. We got your guns, knives, brass knuckles, ball bats,
blackjacks, tazers. Do I really need to go on? You can picture in your
mind the crimes committed with these weapons. I had a revelation! Not
to compare law biding citizens to criminals, but what about crimes
against humanity?! What about crimes against the heart?! I don't think
people realize or even care how words can hurt someone! That's right; I
think you know where I'm going with this. Are not words and attitudes
weapons? I would say positively yes! Sadly though, each and every one
of us harbors those types of weapons in our soul. It seems to be in our
nature to want to hurt one another! Is there no way to break this
trend? Are humans truly a lost cause? I don't know, that's why I'm
asking! When you, for no good reason poke fun at somebody, you are
using a weapon. When you lay your B.S. politics on somebody, you are
using a weapon. When you’re out of line with your attitude and say
hurtful things to a person, YOU ARE USING A WEAPON!!!!!!!!!!! To the
self righteous, rather than using your words and attitudes as weapons
and hurting others around you, or judging every one around you THINKING
that you're better, why not take some time out each day as I have and sit
in judgment on yourself!
Human potential
Human potential is the best options a person has to benefit the world.
Many see human potential as a personal goal. Personal potential. What am I personally capable of? This way of thought gives people ambitions that are mutually exclusive and impossible to reconcile with the ambitions of others. Keep in mind that there are a limited amount of resources at any given time.
We can't all be rich. For some to be rich, there must be others that are poor. So that some can have more than enough, there must be others that starve.
We can't all be famous. For some to have attention focused on them, the focus must come from everyone else.
We can't all be masters. For some to be masters, there must also be slaves.
People tend to blame greed for this predicament. I think there is a better explanation. There is, current in our society, a motivation to maintain and enhance favorable views of oneself. A placing of oneself at the center of his or her world. An excessive love of one's person that leads to unsustainable levels of vanity and selfishness.
It's almost as if we as a society have never grown up. Somehow, by having all our needs met, we've come to the conclusion that our wants are our needs and that our desires must also be met to survive. That it is automatically a good idea to try and obtain everything that we want without thinking. We are a society of spoiled brats.
Alternatively, Mature thinking follows that "we" are more important than "me". If I'm focused on me, I can't be focused on us, but if I am focused on us, I am also included in that focus. Doing what's best for "us" is a way to benefit myself without compromising the other.
Another problem with seeing human potential as chiefly personal is that there is no end to a person's individual potential. If your goal in life is to have money, how much is enough? If your goal is power, how much is enough? If your goal is love, if your goal is knowledge, if your goal is inner peace, if your goal is stuff, How much is enough? Where does it end?
"My goal is raising a family."
That's a good goal. It takes the emphasis off yourself. But how many people have a stated goal, an explicit goal, when their true goal is safety and comfort.
"I want to be safe and comfortable so I can raise my family."
How safe do you want to be? How comfortable do you want to be?
Is there such a thing as absolute safety? Absolute comfort?
Safety is the illusion of safety. The truth is, we could die suddenly at any time.
Experiencing comfort primes the mind to expect comfort. That which is a comfort one day, is a necessity the next.
There is no clear end to personal ambition. It ends with unlimited power by one individual. Unlimited personal ambition leads to concentration of power in those that already have power. It's as if society is a giant pyramid scheme, but one that hasn't been thought through to the end.
The people in charge that started civilization, (long dead), had the power to organize society along lines that benefited chiefly themselves, others like them and their children.
This is the class based society.
If you are born into power: lucky you!
If you are born without power: believe in reincarnation!
The newly moneyed masses saw the value of being included in such a scheme and fought for greater rights of participation. The pyramid of society started to wobble. The balance was gone. The ones in power then had to compromise to maintain their dominance.
Democracy was born.
Rule according to popular opinion.
Some opinions are more popular than others.
This doesn't mean they are more right.
Democracy takes a lot of thought into the field of psychology to work, (that is, produce the effect you want). The product of working to discover the psychological basis for opinions is a limited ability to influence opinions. The byproduct is commercialism: the manipulation of opinions for profit, the effect of which is concentration of power in those that have the ability to appeal to psychology.
Unless you have the money to support a huge marketing division, your ideas are little more than a shot in the dark. You have no idea if they're going to stick. This very manifesto is similar to a shot in the dark. I had no test audience to analyze the efficacy of the message. There are no fancy colors and pictures. No meaningless statistics. 5 out of 5 doctors don't agree with it. It isn't sold at "rock bottom prices!" or "One day only!". I'm working off pure faith that these ideas are good enough to spread. Before the internet, I wouldn't have believe it was possible. Now that information can be transported anywhere in the world without having to buy airtime and a charismatic host, it could be possible for an idea like this to spread to the entire world.
Many see human potential as a personal goal. Personal potential. What am I personally capable of? This way of thought gives people ambitions that are mutually exclusive and impossible to reconcile with the ambitions of others. Keep in mind that there are a limited amount of resources at any given time.
We can't all be rich. For some to be rich, there must be others that are poor. So that some can have more than enough, there must be others that starve.
We can't all be famous. For some to have attention focused on them, the focus must come from everyone else.
We can't all be masters. For some to be masters, there must also be slaves.
People tend to blame greed for this predicament. I think there is a better explanation. There is, current in our society, a motivation to maintain and enhance favorable views of oneself. A placing of oneself at the center of his or her world. An excessive love of one's person that leads to unsustainable levels of vanity and selfishness.
It's almost as if we as a society have never grown up. Somehow, by having all our needs met, we've come to the conclusion that our wants are our needs and that our desires must also be met to survive. That it is automatically a good idea to try and obtain everything that we want without thinking. We are a society of spoiled brats.
Alternatively, Mature thinking follows that "we" are more important than "me". If I'm focused on me, I can't be focused on us, but if I am focused on us, I am also included in that focus. Doing what's best for "us" is a way to benefit myself without compromising the other.
Another problem with seeing human potential as chiefly personal is that there is no end to a person's individual potential. If your goal in life is to have money, how much is enough? If your goal is power, how much is enough? If your goal is love, if your goal is knowledge, if your goal is inner peace, if your goal is stuff, How much is enough? Where does it end?
"My goal is raising a family."
That's a good goal. It takes the emphasis off yourself. But how many people have a stated goal, an explicit goal, when their true goal is safety and comfort.
"I want to be safe and comfortable so I can raise my family."
How safe do you want to be? How comfortable do you want to be?
Is there such a thing as absolute safety? Absolute comfort?
Safety is the illusion of safety. The truth is, we could die suddenly at any time.
Experiencing comfort primes the mind to expect comfort. That which is a comfort one day, is a necessity the next.
There is no clear end to personal ambition. It ends with unlimited power by one individual. Unlimited personal ambition leads to concentration of power in those that already have power. It's as if society is a giant pyramid scheme, but one that hasn't been thought through to the end.
The people in charge that started civilization, (long dead), had the power to organize society along lines that benefited chiefly themselves, others like them and their children.
This is the class based society.
If you are born into power: lucky you!
If you are born without power: believe in reincarnation!
The newly moneyed masses saw the value of being included in such a scheme and fought for greater rights of participation. The pyramid of society started to wobble. The balance was gone. The ones in power then had to compromise to maintain their dominance.
Democracy was born.
Rule according to popular opinion.
Some opinions are more popular than others.
This doesn't mean they are more right.
Democracy takes a lot of thought into the field of psychology to work, (that is, produce the effect you want). The product of working to discover the psychological basis for opinions is a limited ability to influence opinions. The byproduct is commercialism: the manipulation of opinions for profit, the effect of which is concentration of power in those that have the ability to appeal to psychology.
Unless you have the money to support a huge marketing division, your ideas are little more than a shot in the dark. You have no idea if they're going to stick. This very manifesto is similar to a shot in the dark. I had no test audience to analyze the efficacy of the message. There are no fancy colors and pictures. No meaningless statistics. 5 out of 5 doctors don't agree with it. It isn't sold at "rock bottom prices!" or "One day only!". I'm working off pure faith that these ideas are good enough to spread. Before the internet, I wouldn't have believe it was possible. Now that information can be transported anywhere in the world without having to buy airtime and a charismatic host, it could be possible for an idea like this to spread to the entire world.
Something learned
If there is one thing...
I have learned, things are not always what they seem to be...We sometimes only see the surface of things because we don't get to see what is going on deeper... Sometimes we think that people that appear to have it all must have the most amazing lives and sometimes that is true, but sometimes that is far from being the truth ... I've always tried to look beyond appearances... It's not about the house that someone lives in or the car they drive or the clothes they were...That is only camouflage... Sometimes those are things that people hide behind because of a myriad of reasons... Does someone's pocket book make them more appealing than someone that lives a more modest lifestyle?...Does someone that knows all about the latest trends or all the posh new places more interesting than someone that enjoys the simplicity of life and can appreciate nature... Sometimes we get caught up in appearances only to realize that it is only appearance, it has nothing to do with the true nature of that person...
I have learned, things are not always what they seem to be...We sometimes only see the surface of things because we don't get to see what is going on deeper... Sometimes we think that people that appear to have it all must have the most amazing lives and sometimes that is true, but sometimes that is far from being the truth ... I've always tried to look beyond appearances... It's not about the house that someone lives in or the car they drive or the clothes they were...That is only camouflage... Sometimes those are things that people hide behind because of a myriad of reasons... Does someone's pocket book make them more appealing than someone that lives a more modest lifestyle?...Does someone that knows all about the latest trends or all the posh new places more interesting than someone that enjoys the simplicity of life and can appreciate nature... Sometimes we get caught up in appearances only to realize that it is only appearance, it has nothing to do with the true nature of that person...
Finding the inner child in yourself.
Finding the inner child in yourself.
Isn't it strange how when you are only a child and one day appears where you see that hero through your eyes, and in that moment you know. You know what you wanna be when you grow up.
I remember seeing a series once when I was once a child like this - searching subconciously for my superhero - who after enough episodes realized that I had, in fact, found my hero. This character was someone who made me want to grow up, he was the strong and care-free one. The one in the group who no longer wanted to be cooped up and stuck with the everyday norm, but instead in reality became someone, something else simply because he chose to do so.
It gave me hope into being able to do what I want with my life, it gave me hope to never be like the sheep in the herd, but rather to be the herder... perhaps not guiding others, but merely guiding myself. And sometimes in life, realising that we need to lead our own lives. So often we let society and even those special someones close to us, tell us how we should walk, talk, dress and even what we should eat. Do we do this because we are scared? Or because we lack originality? Or even because we are all programmed like they said with the clones in the movie 'The Island' with just 7 different stories, all adjusted just that little bit in order to allow us to think we lead our own lives... it's an interesting thought, and no one has proven anything wrong, so in theory it's possible.
The man in this episode that opened my eyes, would be someone important one day and then someone equally important the next day, but in a different environment completely. He reminds me of a cameleon - how close we are to that one animal and yet, I think that sometimes we don't remember or realize how well we adapt to change, to our friends, family, fashion, work, our lives. This man would more than likely end up building an emotional connection with another person in this series, and when he did he would either save them, be compassionate towards them and more importantly where he could not save them, he felt what they feel.
Other than taking charge of your life and being your own person, have you ever helped someone else in your life... perhaps by just being you... perhaps by letting your heart and emotions do the talking instead of just your mind. How easy it is to have your life and be in charge of it, but how dificult it is to be so selfless at the same time.
There are so many things happening within us, and possibly around us that allow us to experience that extra something in our lives. Faith, hope, God, spirits, ghosts, intuition... there are endless names we call these feeling and yet sometimes we just don't trust them. We need to be awakened to the world that surrounds us - the real world and not the material world where everyone else cowers.. no, we need to brace ourselves for a bigger and better ride... A ride that will ultimately guide us to be the perfect inner child, the child that is not afraid of approaching someone and telling them what they feel, a child that trusts that feeling without question no matter what we or others call it, a child that is not scared to spend time around HIV infected children or adults, a child that is not scared to break out of the box of unchange, a child that knows what it wants for him/ herself.
Perhaps its time to live your life like that child you once were, perhaps its time to start to learn a little like 'The Pretender' did.
Perhaps its time to find your root and your inner happiness... take a step.
Isn't it strange how when you are only a child and one day appears where you see that hero through your eyes, and in that moment you know. You know what you wanna be when you grow up.
I remember seeing a series once when I was once a child like this - searching subconciously for my superhero - who after enough episodes realized that I had, in fact, found my hero. This character was someone who made me want to grow up, he was the strong and care-free one. The one in the group who no longer wanted to be cooped up and stuck with the everyday norm, but instead in reality became someone, something else simply because he chose to do so.
It gave me hope into being able to do what I want with my life, it gave me hope to never be like the sheep in the herd, but rather to be the herder... perhaps not guiding others, but merely guiding myself. And sometimes in life, realising that we need to lead our own lives. So often we let society and even those special someones close to us, tell us how we should walk, talk, dress and even what we should eat. Do we do this because we are scared? Or because we lack originality? Or even because we are all programmed like they said with the clones in the movie 'The Island' with just 7 different stories, all adjusted just that little bit in order to allow us to think we lead our own lives... it's an interesting thought, and no one has proven anything wrong, so in theory it's possible.
The man in this episode that opened my eyes, would be someone important one day and then someone equally important the next day, but in a different environment completely. He reminds me of a cameleon - how close we are to that one animal and yet, I think that sometimes we don't remember or realize how well we adapt to change, to our friends, family, fashion, work, our lives. This man would more than likely end up building an emotional connection with another person in this series, and when he did he would either save them, be compassionate towards them and more importantly where he could not save them, he felt what they feel.
Other than taking charge of your life and being your own person, have you ever helped someone else in your life... perhaps by just being you... perhaps by letting your heart and emotions do the talking instead of just your mind. How easy it is to have your life and be in charge of it, but how dificult it is to be so selfless at the same time.
There are so many things happening within us, and possibly around us that allow us to experience that extra something in our lives. Faith, hope, God, spirits, ghosts, intuition... there are endless names we call these feeling and yet sometimes we just don't trust them. We need to be awakened to the world that surrounds us - the real world and not the material world where everyone else cowers.. no, we need to brace ourselves for a bigger and better ride... A ride that will ultimately guide us to be the perfect inner child, the child that is not afraid of approaching someone and telling them what they feel, a child that trusts that feeling without question no matter what we or others call it, a child that is not scared to spend time around HIV infected children or adults, a child that is not scared to break out of the box of unchange, a child that knows what it wants for him/ herself.
Perhaps its time to live your life like that child you once were, perhaps its time to start to learn a little like 'The Pretender' did.
Perhaps its time to find your root and your inner happiness... take a step.
Love of my life....
Love of my life....
When you are growing up you always wonder? who am I going to choose for the rest of my life and including eternity? You wonder what characteristics do I want that person to have and through life those thing change and you see yourself with different characteristics or qualities that you want that person to have. You go through life and you see what society would have you pick like 1. Body looks 2. Style 3. Social status and you wonder does that all really mean something? and is that what I truly want and need. Then you come to the conclusion that there and really different things for every body and for me personally some of them are 1. Faith in God 2. Sense of Humor 3. Passion 4. Integrity 5. Love of life 6. Optmitic(because of being raised around my mothers pessimistic attitude) 7. Strong but needs somebody 8. Loves children and so forth.... you see that not one of those things really is up to society standard. You wonder wow!! Is that really scary of what? I am not wanting a political debate I would like now to talk of my journey and how in a mircale way I found my dream girl , the one I will always want and need. It started out when I was a child. For some odd reason I loved girls. It was like I really wanted companionship and someone to love me(other than my family) it seemed to me I would really enjoy getting married. I really wanted never to be alone in my life because that was my greatest fear, even that young, I wanted to hold somebody and really feel secure about my life. Unfortunately when I got older I made some bad relationship choices to say the least, I was a hopeless romantic. In my mind I really thought I could make them work and really wanted it to work and find that special someone and I really ruined myself to the point I really didn't know what true love was, or thought it was something else and not was it was supposed to be.Then there was one night that changed my fate. I met Sammie. we started talking and I was immediately crazy about her. Soon we started seeing each other,and the rest is history! I am deeply in love with her. I talked of those qualites a person should have, and she fits right into that category and even more that I would of hoped. I truly am blessed by my Father in Heaven to have someone so amazing and passionate that I hope we can be together forever. Baby I hope you read this, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART YOU HAVE GIVEN ME EVERYTHING! YOU ARE TRULY MEANT FOR ME!!!!!!!
When you are growing up you always wonder? who am I going to choose for the rest of my life and including eternity? You wonder what characteristics do I want that person to have and through life those thing change and you see yourself with different characteristics or qualities that you want that person to have. You go through life and you see what society would have you pick like 1. Body looks 2. Style 3. Social status and you wonder does that all really mean something? and is that what I truly want and need. Then you come to the conclusion that there and really different things for every body and for me personally some of them are 1. Faith in God 2. Sense of Humor 3. Passion 4. Integrity 5. Love of life 6. Optmitic(because of being raised around my mothers pessimistic attitude) 7. Strong but needs somebody 8. Loves children and so forth.... you see that not one of those things really is up to society standard. You wonder wow!! Is that really scary of what? I am not wanting a political debate I would like now to talk of my journey and how in a mircale way I found my dream girl , the one I will always want and need. It started out when I was a child. For some odd reason I loved girls. It was like I really wanted companionship and someone to love me(other than my family) it seemed to me I would really enjoy getting married. I really wanted never to be alone in my life because that was my greatest fear, even that young, I wanted to hold somebody and really feel secure about my life. Unfortunately when I got older I made some bad relationship choices to say the least, I was a hopeless romantic. In my mind I really thought I could make them work and really wanted it to work and find that special someone and I really ruined myself to the point I really didn't know what true love was, or thought it was something else and not was it was supposed to be.Then there was one night that changed my fate. I met Sammie. we started talking and I was immediately crazy about her. Soon we started seeing each other,and the rest is history! I am deeply in love with her. I talked of those qualites a person should have, and she fits right into that category and even more that I would of hoped. I truly am blessed by my Father in Heaven to have someone so amazing and passionate that I hope we can be together forever. Baby I hope you read this, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART YOU HAVE GIVEN ME EVERYTHING! YOU ARE TRULY MEANT FOR ME!!!!!!!
The season of love....
The season of love....
As the holidays approach, the love of family and friends draws us closer together. How do we measure the love we have one for the other? How do you define for another person how much their presence in your life means to you?
I suppose it is simple, you just say it. Wonder why that is so difficult to do? Wonder why it becomes necessary in the first place? You would think that sharing time and space with a person, would be proof enough, but sometimes it is just not enough.
I have always known love in my life. I have heard the words I LOVE YOU thousands of times, and spoken them maybe more than that. To me though, actions speak louder than words. It is in the everyday words that a person says to you that you find love. Oh it may not be clearly spoken, but when you listen with your heart, nothing could be clearer. It is the concern for your welfare and for your happiness that defines love for me, I don't need those three small words. I prefer the picture to be painted in front of me with acts of kindness, and gentle touches of concern. I prefer the kind words and ice water, to the painting on the water tower of those three small words.
I suppose as unique as all the stars in the sky, is the way that each person expresses themselves. Some of us need the words whispered in our ear. Some of us need the actions that say it loud and clear. Likely as not your need comes from your experiences with love in your own life. From my point of reference, love is a beautiful thing. The more people in your life that you love and who love you, the more blessed you are.
Today, I hope you feel the blessing of love. Whether it is drawn on paper, sent in a text or written in an E-mail, I hope you feel it. If you love someone, and there is any doubt in their mind, tell them. Love isn't a painful thing, it is a blessing. Today, I feel really blessed with love. I will be surrounded by my family tonight, and surrounded by love. I will feel the love from the ones that I love most, as I prepare dinner for my family . I will feel love from all around, and send it back...tenfold.
I Love you Sammie and Katherine!
Happy holidays to all of you.
Enjoy and be blessed.
As the holidays approach, the love of family and friends draws us closer together. How do we measure the love we have one for the other? How do you define for another person how much their presence in your life means to you?
I suppose it is simple, you just say it. Wonder why that is so difficult to do? Wonder why it becomes necessary in the first place? You would think that sharing time and space with a person, would be proof enough, but sometimes it is just not enough.
I have always known love in my life. I have heard the words I LOVE YOU thousands of times, and spoken them maybe more than that. To me though, actions speak louder than words. It is in the everyday words that a person says to you that you find love. Oh it may not be clearly spoken, but when you listen with your heart, nothing could be clearer. It is the concern for your welfare and for your happiness that defines love for me, I don't need those three small words. I prefer the picture to be painted in front of me with acts of kindness, and gentle touches of concern. I prefer the kind words and ice water, to the painting on the water tower of those three small words.
I suppose as unique as all the stars in the sky, is the way that each person expresses themselves. Some of us need the words whispered in our ear. Some of us need the actions that say it loud and clear. Likely as not your need comes from your experiences with love in your own life. From my point of reference, love is a beautiful thing. The more people in your life that you love and who love you, the more blessed you are.
Today, I hope you feel the blessing of love. Whether it is drawn on paper, sent in a text or written in an E-mail, I hope you feel it. If you love someone, and there is any doubt in their mind, tell them. Love isn't a painful thing, it is a blessing. Today, I feel really blessed with love. I will be surrounded by my family tonight, and surrounded by love. I will feel the love from the ones that I love most, as I prepare dinner for my family . I will feel love from all around, and send it back...tenfold.
I Love you Sammie and Katherine!
Happy holidays to all of you.
Enjoy and be blessed.
Doubts and other mind fucks.
Doubts and other mind fucks.
Do you ever have doubts you are doing the right thing, finding the right point in the proverbial maze which is life and turning the right corner?.
Life is a game, yet we only get to play once, we only get one shot at it so we constantly worry that we must shoot straight, we must hit that target and go for gold, but this is damn near impossible as the arrows are never sharp enough, your vision is blurred and the target is so far away that in the end you just have to pull back that bow let the arrows go and hope for the best.
No one can ever predict what will happen, no one can ever know about the "what", "If's" and "maybe's", so best to just live one day at a time, aim true and hey if you hit the outside rings then no one will think the worst of you, there are many distractions that can prevent you from achieving bulls eye and no one is perfect.
Decisions are always made at a cost, you may lose the one you love forever, you may lose respect for your own self worth, you may lose friends, but in the end we all have to make those decisions, life is all about the decisions we make and the actions we consummate into our existence, timing is key, and we must always remember to be true to our hearts in that you can never really go wrong.
Timing is everything in life but we must remember to always look forward, to brood in the past is decadent, it is like watching the dust on a shelf and wishing that you had cleaned it earlier before it got so bad, it is futile, its pointless and another great mind fuck, best to get out the duster and just get on with the cleaning process now before the build up gets so dense you can no longer see your dreams.
We all at some point in our lives feel lost, we can all feel like there is no hope left, no light at the end of our proverbial tunnel and that we are in a deep black hole that we just cant bring our selves to climb out of, these are the times when we either falter or admit defeat and hold out a hand for help.Pride can be a killer, do not ever underestimate the lure and damage that prides soul can cost you, it can cost you everything, as the old saying goes and I quote "Pride comes before a fall". So Pride is the ultimate mind fuck and best avoided (This comes from experience).
Moving on, mind fucks are traps we set in our way of progress in life, they are the bricks we use to build walls we cant climb, pride, greed, lack of understanding, self doubt, self hate, denial, all in my opinion a fruitless occupation for the mind.
Of course we cant all be positive all the time, we cant all live off rainbows and lemon drops we cant click our heels three times to take us back to kansas, so we must endure, we must accept our lot in life and make the best out of it, whether we need help along the way in grey areas or not is not important, it is how we conduct ourselves it is how we act towards others, always treat others how we wish to be treated ourselves in that truly there is truth.
When we get upset sometimes our judgement is clouded, it is never best to make decisions on highly run emotions, anger clouds all judgement it is the path to fear, so most highly strung people live off fear and get angry when they make the wrong choices its a vicious circle, unfortunately in this case there really is no one else to blame and no excuses, people with anger issues can be counterproductive to their own existence, they rarely look at things subjectively and there are no grey areas just black and white, I guess I would say aggression is the King of mind fucks.
Live each day as it comes, envelope your life in people that make you happy, those that love you, try not to think "perfect" thoughts, just remember that no ones life is perfect, the grass is not always greener on the other side and stay always true to your heart.
Do you ever have doubts you are doing the right thing, finding the right point in the proverbial maze which is life and turning the right corner?.
Life is a game, yet we only get to play once, we only get one shot at it so we constantly worry that we must shoot straight, we must hit that target and go for gold, but this is damn near impossible as the arrows are never sharp enough, your vision is blurred and the target is so far away that in the end you just have to pull back that bow let the arrows go and hope for the best.
No one can ever predict what will happen, no one can ever know about the "what", "If's" and "maybe's", so best to just live one day at a time, aim true and hey if you hit the outside rings then no one will think the worst of you, there are many distractions that can prevent you from achieving bulls eye and no one is perfect.
Decisions are always made at a cost, you may lose the one you love forever, you may lose respect for your own self worth, you may lose friends, but in the end we all have to make those decisions, life is all about the decisions we make and the actions we consummate into our existence, timing is key, and we must always remember to be true to our hearts in that you can never really go wrong.
Timing is everything in life but we must remember to always look forward, to brood in the past is decadent, it is like watching the dust on a shelf and wishing that you had cleaned it earlier before it got so bad, it is futile, its pointless and another great mind fuck, best to get out the duster and just get on with the cleaning process now before the build up gets so dense you can no longer see your dreams.
We all at some point in our lives feel lost, we can all feel like there is no hope left, no light at the end of our proverbial tunnel and that we are in a deep black hole that we just cant bring our selves to climb out of, these are the times when we either falter or admit defeat and hold out a hand for help.Pride can be a killer, do not ever underestimate the lure and damage that prides soul can cost you, it can cost you everything, as the old saying goes and I quote "Pride comes before a fall". So Pride is the ultimate mind fuck and best avoided (This comes from experience).
Moving on, mind fucks are traps we set in our way of progress in life, they are the bricks we use to build walls we cant climb, pride, greed, lack of understanding, self doubt, self hate, denial, all in my opinion a fruitless occupation for the mind.
Of course we cant all be positive all the time, we cant all live off rainbows and lemon drops we cant click our heels three times to take us back to kansas, so we must endure, we must accept our lot in life and make the best out of it, whether we need help along the way in grey areas or not is not important, it is how we conduct ourselves it is how we act towards others, always treat others how we wish to be treated ourselves in that truly there is truth.
When we get upset sometimes our judgement is clouded, it is never best to make decisions on highly run emotions, anger clouds all judgement it is the path to fear, so most highly strung people live off fear and get angry when they make the wrong choices its a vicious circle, unfortunately in this case there really is no one else to blame and no excuses, people with anger issues can be counterproductive to their own existence, they rarely look at things subjectively and there are no grey areas just black and white, I guess I would say aggression is the King of mind fucks.
Live each day as it comes, envelope your life in people that make you happy, those that love you, try not to think "perfect" thoughts, just remember that no ones life is perfect, the grass is not always greener on the other side and stay always true to your heart.
Loves security
Loves security
I am transported now into a moment I wish to share with you, I am loved wrapped in the cloaks of warmth and you would think I feel secure, then you would think wrong.
Many people use love as a security blanket, they crave it like roses need the rain, they feel the strong need to be interwoven with another soul and in this think they will find shelter, yet I for all my romantic fantasies shy from such feelings, I digress from the needs and wants of love, you may now wonder why and of course being the generous author I will now indulge you.
Love is as water, it is ever changing, ever moving penetrated easily by storms and Impossible to hold forever in your hands, it should be given freely as a gift, and never held as a possession.When love is given and reciprocated by both partners equally love can then be held in the heart and may find peace and serenity but we must always remember the rivers past transgressions, thus the storms are held in our minds which makes us more than a touch paranoid where this river will take us and thus Love is a battle of the mind and the heart, lets face it its bloody hard work hence I do not jump into the proverbial boat easily.
I am in a newly formed Love as I write this and this I will tell you, I did not seek Love, I did not crave the attention of love, in fact I rather tried to hide from it, yet Love is not a force we can control, it takes for me at least someone exceptional to move my heart and I never expected to find this and I guess this made me closed to the prospects of it ever happening.
I enter this with a foot in the door way of my heart so that my beloved may easily slip out if she wishes to do so, as I do believe that love is a gift, not a possession and is as liberated as the stars in the sky and as impossible to change the pattern of.
There is a saying, If you love someone set them free, if they return to you they will be yours forever, if not they were never yours in the first place. I am a strong believer in that saying, it is a lesson to us all and a warning of sorts, when the one you love walks away it is respectful and sensible to give them time to feel out their hearts emotions, you cannot force love, you cannot contain it, so if that person, the one you love decides not to return it is futile to fight for this.
The saying that True love is worth fighting for, I believe only works for reciprocated love.
I guess I am an odd box of tricks, I am a die hard romantic at heart yet my experiences has left me sceptical of the realities, I have doubts, I have fears, yet I guess my heart knows that love holds no boundaries, it is as free as the words that echo the sensation.
I give my love not without fears or doubts but without Ties, without promises and expectation's, this to me is true love and the die hard romantic in me just has to belive that this could be something more than special and has a chance at the hands of time, as for security we must find that in our own hearts and trust that one perfect love can survive. I love you Sammie!
I am transported now into a moment I wish to share with you, I am loved wrapped in the cloaks of warmth and you would think I feel secure, then you would think wrong.
Many people use love as a security blanket, they crave it like roses need the rain, they feel the strong need to be interwoven with another soul and in this think they will find shelter, yet I for all my romantic fantasies shy from such feelings, I digress from the needs and wants of love, you may now wonder why and of course being the generous author I will now indulge you.
Love is as water, it is ever changing, ever moving penetrated easily by storms and Impossible to hold forever in your hands, it should be given freely as a gift, and never held as a possession.When love is given and reciprocated by both partners equally love can then be held in the heart and may find peace and serenity but we must always remember the rivers past transgressions, thus the storms are held in our minds which makes us more than a touch paranoid where this river will take us and thus Love is a battle of the mind and the heart, lets face it its bloody hard work hence I do not jump into the proverbial boat easily.
I am in a newly formed Love as I write this and this I will tell you, I did not seek Love, I did not crave the attention of love, in fact I rather tried to hide from it, yet Love is not a force we can control, it takes for me at least someone exceptional to move my heart and I never expected to find this and I guess this made me closed to the prospects of it ever happening.
I enter this with a foot in the door way of my heart so that my beloved may easily slip out if she wishes to do so, as I do believe that love is a gift, not a possession and is as liberated as the stars in the sky and as impossible to change the pattern of.
There is a saying, If you love someone set them free, if they return to you they will be yours forever, if not they were never yours in the first place. I am a strong believer in that saying, it is a lesson to us all and a warning of sorts, when the one you love walks away it is respectful and sensible to give them time to feel out their hearts emotions, you cannot force love, you cannot contain it, so if that person, the one you love decides not to return it is futile to fight for this.
The saying that True love is worth fighting for, I believe only works for reciprocated love.
I guess I am an odd box of tricks, I am a die hard romantic at heart yet my experiences has left me sceptical of the realities, I have doubts, I have fears, yet I guess my heart knows that love holds no boundaries, it is as free as the words that echo the sensation.
I give my love not without fears or doubts but without Ties, without promises and expectation's, this to me is true love and the die hard romantic in me just has to belive that this could be something more than special and has a chance at the hands of time, as for security we must find that in our own hearts and trust that one perfect love can survive. I love you Sammie!
The innocence of Love
Once when I was small I had a goldfish it was for all intense and purposes Doomed as it came from a fare ground and lets face it they do not last long, however Fred the Goldfish lived a remarkably long time, I adored him, he was to me my best friend, I told Fred everything (Well as much as A five year old can about the secrets of life), and he was loved for just being there.
Sometimes I wonder If Fred adorned the veil of life much longer than expected because my heart held him there, I know this is wistful thinking and a touch silly but I do wonder.When he died I felt like the world was at an end, like the sun would not again rise into the morning sky and that my tears could not be quenched.
Then the very next day my mother bought me a Rabbit and this was to become my new source of affection, I however did not forget my scaly friend but simply shifted my emotions from one creature to another and as with all children I recovered very rapidly.
Love when you are a child is simple, you find things in life and you cling to them like an orphan in a storm, you look consistently for love in everything and anything without even realizing it and also you discover that love does not always last forever and can be fleeting, also sadly you also discover just because you love it does not mean it is reciprocated.
I found this lesson of unreciprocated Love when I was at school, I was the proverbial ugly ducking and just a touch different from the rest of the children, yet I tried to find acceptance, I tried to make the others love me, but no matter how hard I tried it did not transpire, thus I learned the lesson of rejection at a very tender age.
I know this much when we are small we recover from rejection and the loss of loved ones much faster than our adult hearts can ever comprehend and we love much more freely, we see things in a new and interesting light and hope is eternal in a child's heart, there is always more love to find, and an abundance to give.
As an adult I am now assessing the way I love, my fears of rejection and my lack of giving my heart freely.
However love to me is still magical, it is still a fairytale and I keep dreaming far too hard. I still have these childish dreams I hold in my heart of eternal love, of a perfect love, a love that can withstand the test of time and overcome the bounties of pain and life's black holes.
Sometimes I understand why I am this way, it comes from the rejection I had as a child and the place that I escaped to when I felt this way that was my mind, my mind being what it is, is a dreamworld and this created hope, created a love that may be a touch unreachable but I still keep holding out my fingertips to touch the magic and to hold on to this dream.
I don't think I will ever be comfortable with Love as I grow sometimes weary of trying, weary of my dreams being crushed, but this I will tell you is a definite truth, when I give my heart, when I say those three words it is because I feel them deeply and I will never give up on the wonders, I will never give up on that dream no matter how hard my heart wishes to hide from the hurt that it believes will always ensue from it.
Now at this point in my life I give my Love whole, not in parts, without prejudice, always with hope and only to those who truly deserve it, my love as with any soul on this planet when given is a rare and precious gift.
Love begins so simple when we are children and grows depending on the grounds that it was watered, my love is complex, it came from parched grounds, but my love found a way to survive by rooting itself deeply,hiding away in the dark, and ever looking at the stars which were my dreams.
Love is a simple Innocent gesture yet never underestimate the complexities of Love in every form.
Sometimes I wonder If Fred adorned the veil of life much longer than expected because my heart held him there, I know this is wistful thinking and a touch silly but I do wonder.When he died I felt like the world was at an end, like the sun would not again rise into the morning sky and that my tears could not be quenched.
Then the very next day my mother bought me a Rabbit and this was to become my new source of affection, I however did not forget my scaly friend but simply shifted my emotions from one creature to another and as with all children I recovered very rapidly.
Love when you are a child is simple, you find things in life and you cling to them like an orphan in a storm, you look consistently for love in everything and anything without even realizing it and also you discover that love does not always last forever and can be fleeting, also sadly you also discover just because you love it does not mean it is reciprocated.
I found this lesson of unreciprocated Love when I was at school, I was the proverbial ugly ducking and just a touch different from the rest of the children, yet I tried to find acceptance, I tried to make the others love me, but no matter how hard I tried it did not transpire, thus I learned the lesson of rejection at a very tender age.
I know this much when we are small we recover from rejection and the loss of loved ones much faster than our adult hearts can ever comprehend and we love much more freely, we see things in a new and interesting light and hope is eternal in a child's heart, there is always more love to find, and an abundance to give.
As an adult I am now assessing the way I love, my fears of rejection and my lack of giving my heart freely.
However love to me is still magical, it is still a fairytale and I keep dreaming far too hard. I still have these childish dreams I hold in my heart of eternal love, of a perfect love, a love that can withstand the test of time and overcome the bounties of pain and life's black holes.
Sometimes I understand why I am this way, it comes from the rejection I had as a child and the place that I escaped to when I felt this way that was my mind, my mind being what it is, is a dreamworld and this created hope, created a love that may be a touch unreachable but I still keep holding out my fingertips to touch the magic and to hold on to this dream.
I don't think I will ever be comfortable with Love as I grow sometimes weary of trying, weary of my dreams being crushed, but this I will tell you is a definite truth, when I give my heart, when I say those three words it is because I feel them deeply and I will never give up on the wonders, I will never give up on that dream no matter how hard my heart wishes to hide from the hurt that it believes will always ensue from it.
Now at this point in my life I give my Love whole, not in parts, without prejudice, always with hope and only to those who truly deserve it, my love as with any soul on this planet when given is a rare and precious gift.
Love begins so simple when we are children and grows depending on the grounds that it was watered, my love is complex, it came from parched grounds, but my love found a way to survive by rooting itself deeply,hiding away in the dark, and ever looking at the stars which were my dreams.
Love is a simple Innocent gesture yet never underestimate the complexities of Love in every form.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
What I Hate About Christmas
You know what I hate about Christmas time? Almost nothing. It's my favorite time of year for so many reasons. There are some little things, of course, like that annoying song about a reindeer committing manslaughter. Oh, and any Christmas song as performed by Mariah Carey. Please, Ms. Carey, do us all a favor and disappear off the face of the Earth, taking all of your recordings with you. The world does not need you or your over-singing. If you need company, get Whitney Houston to go with you.
I hate that every year it takes me two or three tries to remember which brand of eggnog I like. I also hate that eggnog makes me nervous when it’s past the expiration date, because I always sniff it to make sure it’s okay, but since I’ve never sniffed brand new eggnog, I have no clue if it smells right.
I hate it when people hang mistletoe at Christmas parties and then make a big deal about people standing under them. Get over it. I’m not in High school anymore, so I’m not going to make out with some random stranger just because she’s standing next to me. Mostly that’s because I’ve found that random strangers no longer let me do that. Besides,A couple years ago Human Resources told me that’s a no-no.
I guess I hate those commercials that pop up this time of year that try to convince you that you can only prove you love somebody if you’re rich. I mean, if you can’t buy your wife a new Lexus or fancy diamond jewelry, then what kind of man are you? I have nothing against diamonds or Lexuses (Lexes? Lexi?), but I feel that people place way too much importance on materialism and those Christmas commercials reflect materialism at its worst. That same way of thinking is often present for the employees of jewelry stores. “What, you want to get her that necklace? Oh, I see. You only love her a little.”
I guess I hate it when people write “X-Mas” instead of “Christmas.” It seems a little inappropriate to exclude the name of the birthday boy. It would be like if you went to a birthday party for your friend Char but refused to acknowledge that the celebration had anything to do with her. It seems a little disrespectful to Char.
I guess the thing I hate about Christmas most of all is that it only comes once a year. Maybe it wouldn’t be as special if it happened more often, but I think we need to keep the spirit of Christmas – one of giving, compassion, charity and love – going all year long.
Merry Christmas to all,and a prosperous new year!
Ed....
I hate that every year it takes me two or three tries to remember which brand of eggnog I like. I also hate that eggnog makes me nervous when it’s past the expiration date, because I always sniff it to make sure it’s okay, but since I’ve never sniffed brand new eggnog, I have no clue if it smells right.
I hate it when people hang mistletoe at Christmas parties and then make a big deal about people standing under them. Get over it. I’m not in High school anymore, so I’m not going to make out with some random stranger just because she’s standing next to me. Mostly that’s because I’ve found that random strangers no longer let me do that. Besides,A couple years ago Human Resources told me that’s a no-no.
I guess I hate those commercials that pop up this time of year that try to convince you that you can only prove you love somebody if you’re rich. I mean, if you can’t buy your wife a new Lexus or fancy diamond jewelry, then what kind of man are you? I have nothing against diamonds or Lexuses (Lexes? Lexi?), but I feel that people place way too much importance on materialism and those Christmas commercials reflect materialism at its worst. That same way of thinking is often present for the employees of jewelry stores. “What, you want to get her that necklace? Oh, I see. You only love her a little.”
I guess I hate it when people write “X-Mas” instead of “Christmas.” It seems a little inappropriate to exclude the name of the birthday boy. It would be like if you went to a birthday party for your friend Char but refused to acknowledge that the celebration had anything to do with her. It seems a little disrespectful to Char.
I guess the thing I hate about Christmas most of all is that it only comes once a year. Maybe it wouldn’t be as special if it happened more often, but I think we need to keep the spirit of Christmas – one of giving, compassion, charity and love – going all year long.
Merry Christmas to all,and a prosperous new year!
Ed....
Sunday, December 20, 2009
My theory of Eternity.
Death.
It use to be just a word to me. Something I glanced at or skimmed over. A word that happened to people in movies. Something that happened to older people and relatives. To people in accidents or to the sick.
Cemeteries were just something I nonchalantly viewed in passing. I never really thought about them. Or the many corpses in the ground. Six feet beneath the surface. Rotting away in some satin lined box that someone paid an arm and a leg for, only for it to be covered in dirt and never to be seen again.
But I see things in a new light now. Not because I have a disease or am laying on my death bed. But because I am older. Because I realize.... that my life is half over - give or take a few years and granted it isnt snuffed out prematurely before I am ready.
Are we ever ready for death? Is there ever a good time for it to come? Granted many suffer at the end and wish for it to come, do we ever really look forward to the day when our bodies will be forever planted in the ground or turned into ashes to be scattered in the breeze?
I often see the billboard that reads: IF YOU DIE TODAY, WHERE WILL YOU SPEND ETERNITY? And my first thought is... in the ground. I know thats probably a rough way of looking at it. But its true. My body will be either in the ground or cremated. I've not decided yet. Guess i should get on the ball though, huh?
Almost 40 years of my life have passed. Most have been good. Some not so good. I've done some stuff I regret. I've done some stuff Im proud of. But why am I here? What have I not accomplished yet? We live and work and pay taxes and break our backs to exist happily. We fight and test and tease and hate. For what? In the end, our bodies all end up in the same place one way or another.
The Earth has been here for millions of years and we only exist on it for 100 if we're lucky. We are a grain of sand in a sand box. Generations come and go. People are remembered for a while... but soon forgotten. And when i say "soon" I mean over a period of generations and time. Unless your story is truly unique and substantial, you will be just a name on a stone and some forgotten memory eventually. And even a stone memorial crumbles over time if not tended too on a regular basis.
Its kinda sad to think about. But im just rambling.
Graveyards just make me wonder sometimes.... Where will i spend Eternity? And what am I going to do with my next 40 years to make it substantial so that im not forgotten within a generation or two? Is it too late too? And how will I confront or accept Death when my day comes?
Sometimes I imagine dying to be like falling asleep. And when we dream, we are actually in spirit, venturing beyond what we know in the physical world. Yet, still connected to it. And Death will disconnect the ability to "come back" to the physical being. So I guess, in short, I just hope im not having some kinda nightmare the last day I am to be here. Because that could be Hell.
Maybe that explains why sometimes, after a really bad dream, I wake up stressed and close to tears and aggitated and mentally drained. I am given a taste of what my Hell could be. Because I dont believe Hell is the same for everyone.
It use to be just a word to me. Something I glanced at or skimmed over. A word that happened to people in movies. Something that happened to older people and relatives. To people in accidents or to the sick.
Cemeteries were just something I nonchalantly viewed in passing. I never really thought about them. Or the many corpses in the ground. Six feet beneath the surface. Rotting away in some satin lined box that someone paid an arm and a leg for, only for it to be covered in dirt and never to be seen again.
But I see things in a new light now. Not because I have a disease or am laying on my death bed. But because I am older. Because I realize.... that my life is half over - give or take a few years and granted it isnt snuffed out prematurely before I am ready.
Are we ever ready for death? Is there ever a good time for it to come? Granted many suffer at the end and wish for it to come, do we ever really look forward to the day when our bodies will be forever planted in the ground or turned into ashes to be scattered in the breeze?
I often see the billboard that reads: IF YOU DIE TODAY, WHERE WILL YOU SPEND ETERNITY? And my first thought is... in the ground. I know thats probably a rough way of looking at it. But its true. My body will be either in the ground or cremated. I've not decided yet. Guess i should get on the ball though, huh?
Almost 40 years of my life have passed. Most have been good. Some not so good. I've done some stuff I regret. I've done some stuff Im proud of. But why am I here? What have I not accomplished yet? We live and work and pay taxes and break our backs to exist happily. We fight and test and tease and hate. For what? In the end, our bodies all end up in the same place one way or another.
The Earth has been here for millions of years and we only exist on it for 100 if we're lucky. We are a grain of sand in a sand box. Generations come and go. People are remembered for a while... but soon forgotten. And when i say "soon" I mean over a period of generations and time. Unless your story is truly unique and substantial, you will be just a name on a stone and some forgotten memory eventually. And even a stone memorial crumbles over time if not tended too on a regular basis.
Its kinda sad to think about. But im just rambling.
Graveyards just make me wonder sometimes.... Where will i spend Eternity? And what am I going to do with my next 40 years to make it substantial so that im not forgotten within a generation or two? Is it too late too? And how will I confront or accept Death when my day comes?
Sometimes I imagine dying to be like falling asleep. And when we dream, we are actually in spirit, venturing beyond what we know in the physical world. Yet, still connected to it. And Death will disconnect the ability to "come back" to the physical being. So I guess, in short, I just hope im not having some kinda nightmare the last day I am to be here. Because that could be Hell.
Maybe that explains why sometimes, after a really bad dream, I wake up stressed and close to tears and aggitated and mentally drained. I am given a taste of what my Hell could be. Because I dont believe Hell is the same for everyone.
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