What I Hate About Christmas

You know what I hate about Christmas time? Almost nothing. It's my favorite time of year for so many reasons. There are some little things, of course, like that annoying song about a reindeer committing manslaughter. Oh, and any Christmas song as performed by Mariah Carey. Please, Ms. Carey, do us all a favor and disappear off the face of the Earth, taking all of your recordings with you. The world does not need you or your over-singing. If you need company, get Whitney Houston to go with you.

I hate that every year it takes me two or three tries to remember which brand of eggnog I like. I also hate that eggnog makes me nervous when it’s past the expiration date, because I always sniff it to make sure it’s okay, but since I’ve never sniffed brand new eggnog, I have no clue if it smells right.

I hate it when people hang mistletoe at Christmas parties and then make a big deal about people standing under them. Get over it. I’m not in High school anymore, so I’m not going to make out with some random stranger just because she’s standing next to me. Mostly that’s because I’ve found that random strangers no longer let me do that. Besides,A couple years ago Human Resources told me that’s a no-no.

I guess I hate those commercials that pop up this time of year that try to convince you that you can only prove you love somebody if you’re rich. I mean, if you can’t buy your wife a new Lexus or fancy diamond jewelry, then what kind of man are you? I have nothing against diamonds or Lexuses (Lexes? Lexi?), but I feel that people place way too much importance on materialism and those Christmas commercials reflect materialism at its worst. That same way of thinking is often present for the employees of jewelry stores. “What, you want to get her that necklace? Oh, I see. You only love her a little.”

I guess I hate it when people write “X-Mas” instead of “Christmas.” It seems a little inappropriate to exclude the name of the birthday boy. It would be like if you went to a birthday party for your friend Char but refused to acknowledge that the celebration had anything to do with her. It seems a little disrespectful to Char.

I guess the thing I hate about Christmas most of all is that it only comes once a year. Maybe it wouldn’t be as special if it happened more often, but I think we need to keep the spirit of Christmas – one of giving, compassion, charity and love – going all year long.
Merry Christmas to all,and a prosperous new year!
Ed....