Had too much Christmas cheer?

1. You know you have if you... notice your tie sticking out of your fly. 2. Someone uses your tongue for a coaster. 3. You start kissing the portraits on the wall. 4. You see your underwear hanging from the dining room light. 5. You have to hold on to the floor to keep from sliding off. 6. You see three cigarettes and light your nose. 7. You take off your shoes and wade in the dog and cats water bowls. 8. You hear a duck quacking, and it 's you,I do this sober,but usually blame it on Sammie. 9. You complain about the small bathroom after emerging from the closet. 10. You refill your glass from the aquarium. 11. You tell everyone you have to go home... and the party's at your place. 12. You ask for another ice cube and put it in your pocket. 13. You talk to the biggest bore in the room... and realize you 're in front of the hall mirror. 14. You pick up a roll, and butter your watch. 15. You take out your handkerchief and blow your ear. 16. You tell your best joke to the dog. 17. You realize you 're the only one under the coffee table.18.cook breakfast on the woodstove because you do not want to mess up the stove and hear about it later. These are from personal experience. Funny, years later, but still not funny to the ones who love you,or used to love you....